The scales had to be lying. I believe they do that now and again and then laugh it up with the shower curtain as soon as I have left the room. This time I knew they were not telling the truth. I was on my way to a healthier me. But the numbers flashing up at me told a different story.
I was mad!
I had been working hard to see a difference . . . hmm, now that I think about it. Maybe I did spend more time watching television and surfing the internet than I did working on a healthier me. Okay, there are plenty other places to put the blame.
I had been sacrificing the things I loved the most . . . hmm, I seem to recall eating fast food for dinner last night, drinking sweet tea and even indulging in dessert. Okay, there are still plenty of other places to put the blame.
I had been spending time in prayer and study . . . hmm, I committed time to prayer and study but only made time for the “pray as you go” moments. Okay, there are more places that I can put the blame.
I had been worrying about my hormone levels . . . hmm, the more I think about it the more I realize that the only time I worry about my hormone levels is when I step on the scales and the number taunts me.
I am running out of places to put the blame. Maybe the issues is not an outside one, but an inside one. I want to look like I looked in college, but I want to act like I act now. I want the little changes that I make now and then in how I act and think to make big, permanent changes in how I look. I am out of balance.
Recognizing the struggle can be half the battle. Putting down the rest of the chains that I have wrapped around my own body from my food issues only requires that I see food for what it is NOT and for what it is.
Breaking the Cycle of Food Addiction
- Food is not the answer. Food will not make me feel better about myself or the way I look. Food will not relieve the pressure caused by my husband or kids. Food will not bring my family closer together (a real struggle for me since food was ALWAYS the center piece for family get-togethers and celebrations growing up). Food is NOT the duct tape of the South – able to fix anything with a single bound. The moment I can grasp that idea I am one step closer to the freedom I crave even more than the food.
- Food is fuel. That is all that food was ever designed to be. Food can be premium fuel that makes the engine run even better than it did before the food went in. Food can also be that cheap stuff that makes the engine cough and gag and bogs it down with the yuck that clings to the engine parts.
I know this, but only after writing these two key ideas did I begin to KNOW this. I have been seeing food from the wrong perspective for years. Food has been a treat. Food has been a way to remember and celebrate. Food has been a connection. Food is none of that. People may be enticed to a celebration by the offering of food, but ultimately they come for the people. I have always known that, but seeing those two points helped me to KNOW that.
The image of food as fuel and my body as an engine gave me a new perspective. I have known that food offers the energy to do what needs to be done. I have known that losing weight means putting in fewer calories and burning more. I have known that certain foods provide the fuel for sports. When I wrote out the image of my body as an engine and the cheap fuel clogging it up, I finally KNOW that food is fuel.
“So often time it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.” The Eagles
Now I KNOW.